Why are affairs so powerful? What could drive a person from a committed relationship, into to the bed of a near stranger?

The answer is easy to understand when you look further into what drives our actions. We do have the capability of thinking and understanding logically the difference between right and wrong. Our personality, beliefs and values guide our decision making processes so we can control our emotions . We don’t then react to our every urge.

If you have read into the 7 Types of Affairs, you will find examples of how certain types of affairs occur with people of certain personalities & beliefs. This is why there is a different treatment plan for each affair type.

What the affair partner gave to the unfaithful partner, is fulfillment of 1 or 2 of their most important emotional needs.

Emotional needs are unique to each person, and often people believe they know what their partners needs are. This is a huge mistake. To recover from infidelity, it is recommended that you understand  your emotional needs and your partners emotional needs.

Then your goal is to meet each others top emotional needs.


The 10 Most Popular Emotional Needs


  1. Intimacy
  2. Recreational Time
  3. Conversation
  4. Financial Support
  5. Affection
  6. Honesty
  7. Admiration & Respect
  8. Family Commitment
  9. An Attractive Partner
  10. Sexual Satisfaction

You may have another more important need. Then write that in this list. You make a list of YOUR needs. 

Our primary goal in helping couples recover after an affair is for them to establish a romantic relationship that’s just as passionate as the affair. I don’t want their choice to be between passion and reason – the affair offering passion and the marriage offering reason. I want them to have passion and reason, something that can only be found in their marriage. – Savannah


For the emotional needs assessment article CLICK HERE, or to read more about emotional needs, download a copy of “I Cheated: Affair Recovery”.

Here is to your relationship recovery,