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Myth #1
If someone has an affair, his or her marriage is over.
For those who have not experienced unfaithfulness in their relationships, it’s hard to image enduring the pain.
The idea of waking up every morning next to the person who has hurt you so intimately seems like serving a life sentence. If a spouse cheats, then it’s over. Right?
Not necessarily.
Researchers have found that when infidelity occurs in a marriage, only 20 to 25 percent of those relationships end because of the affair. This means 75 percent to 80 percent of couples survive the adultery.
Why?
The short answer is that most people want to believe their partner is truly sorry, and they want to trust the person in whom they have invested so much of their lives.
This topic will be discussed in greater detail later, but it is sufficient to say that most people want to make their marriage work. If you have been hurt and are reading this, you are testament to that fact. If you are the one who has been unfaithful, remember to be patient with the hurt your spouse is suffering; your partner wants the relationship to be better as much as you do.
The real reason that couples divorce is that they feel distant from one another and do not know how to reconnect. Betrayal has much to do with that, but it is the lack of resolution that leads to feelings of alienation and separation, not the infidelity itself.
