Tag: Sex

Top Conflict Points In Marriage

The typical argument a couple has greatly depends on the length of time married. For example a newly married couple will argue about different things than a couple who’s been married 20 years. I’ve listed the top five issues couples normally argue about below, based on a survey completed before they start marriage counseling. However as a counselor, I know that the information written on the survey form is the “politically correct” version of their relationship issues.  Most people are not skilled in expressing what they want, they fight about other “important” issues.

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craislist personal and STDs

Research proves Craigslist personal trolling can give you HIV


Do you troll the internet looking for a lover? Does your partner?

So many of my clients affairs began on the internet on websites such as Craigslist.

Personal ads on Craigslist, popular for arranging casual sexual encounters, have been linked by a new study to a 15.9 percent surge in HIV from 1999-2008. The ads coincided with 6,000 new HIV cases annually.

Why is this SO important to know?

It is the spouse of the cheater who ALSO, in this case, gets HIV too.

Personal ads on Craiglist, popular for arranging casual sexual encounters, have been linked by a new study to a 15.9 percent surge in HIV from 1999-2008. The ads coincided with 6,000 new HIV cases annually, the University of Minnesota study said.

However, the research also makes the claim that it is not ads by professional sex workers that are responsible for an increase in STDs through casual sexual encounters, but those from people not engaging in paid-for sexual services, Science Daily said. It cited the study, by Jason Chan, of the Carlson School of Management, and New York University’s Anindya Ghose, published in the December issue of MIS Quarterly.

Craiglist, a San Fransisco-based classified ads website, was incorporated as a for-profit company in 1999. For a decade, it ran “erotic” and “adult” ads on its personals section, but later dropped them after criticism from some quarters that it was promoting prostitution and sexual trafficking.

The authors said that the extra cases of HIV, the virus that causes the acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), over the period 1999-2008 in 33 US states, translate into between $62 million and $65.3 million in medical treatment for those who become HIV positive, an abstract from the study claimed.

Study co-author Chan said the founders of Craiglist, which started as an email list between tech professionals in the San Fransisco area in 1995 but later became popular with the LGBT community as a way to arrange dates in conservative areas of the United States, could not have predicted the “unintended consequences” of their service.

“Our study results suggest that there is a new social route of HIV transmission that is taking place in this digital era,” Chan said, Science Daily reported. “Health care practitioners and policymakers have to look more closely at online platforms to assess how its usage may facilitate the spread of HIV and STDs across the country.”

In recent years, Craigslist has prohibited ads for professional escort services, and visitors to the personal ads section are greeted with the notice: “Safer sex greatly reduces the risk of STDs. Please report suspected exploitation of minors.”

The researchers said that the risk of contracting HIV and other STDs was higher among the general public using personal ads for casual sexual encounters than with the ads by professional sex workers, Science Daily reported.

In the study, Science Daily said that Chan and Ghose found that “nonmarket-related casual sex” is the primary reason for the increase in HIV cases, in contrast to “paid transactions solicited” featured on the site (e.g., escort services and prostitution), which showed a “negative relationship with HIV trends.” This suggests that professional sex workers are more aware of the risks associated with casual sexual relations and practice safer sex more consistently, the authors were quoted as saying.


Which sex addiction group is for you?

Which sex addiction group is for you?

If you were unaware, like I was, there are multiple different sex addiction groups. So if you are having trouble with that area of your life you might want to check one of the many groups dedicated to helping you recover. But which one, right? Well that is why we are here. We can help you figure out which sex addiction group is for you.

First, there is Sexaholics Anonymous. Sexaholics Anonymous is the probably the most strict out of all the different sex addiction groups. It is also probably the most fundamentalist and conservative of all the sex addiction groups. Many of the members of sexaholics anonymous are also religious. Serious problems like pedophilia or incessant buying of prostitutes are the main concern at sexaholics anonymous. Other behaviors such as onanism, sadomasochism, sodomy, and a liking for gang bangs are also addressed. Sexual sobriety is defined not only as abstinence from all these behaviors but also as progressing victory over lust. The only acceptable expression of sexual impulses is through very vanilla and heterosexual relations with one’s legally recognized spouse. Meaning man and wife, missionary style, as said by the Holy Bible. Homosexual members are welcome but they have to commit to a life of celibacy.

If this doesn’t sound like the sex addiction group for you could try out Sexual Recovery Anonymous. This sex addiction group began around 1993. Sexual Recovery Anonymous is still pretty strict and still tries to uphold the ideals of marriage, family and the establishment. The mix of people at SRA is more diverse though. This sex addiction group has a strong female presence, a lot of African Americans, Asians and members of LGBT community. The talk is usually of inner children, mom and dad, incest, trauma, and therapy lingo. Higher powers are usually in the Buddhist, New Age, Yoga kind of frame.

Sex Addicts Anonymous is a serious sex addiction group that is well known for its Green Book. A distinguishing feature of SAA is the central importance of its “Three Circles” concept, which every member is encouraged to use as a tool to maintain sobriety. The Inner Circle contains all bottom-line behaviors that characterize your sexual addiction, including masturbation, prostitution, cruising, infidelity, leather bars, autoerotic asphyxia, glory holes, stalking, exhibitionism, child pornography, rape and so forth. The Middle Circle contains all those behaviors considered a grey area, to be monitored with the help of a sponsor. Obvious examples here include fantasy, objectification, euphoric recall, ritualization, preoccupation and any non-pornographic provocative images. The word “intrigue” has special meaning here—defined as lusting, flirting or taking a sexual interest in someone. The Outer Circle is where you would place all your top-line behaviors, those activities that cement your sobriety and affirm a healthy, happy life.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is where there is no definition already placed on what sexually sober means. However you choose to define your sobriety will work in this group. Where the other three groups are very strict, this group is loose. I actually refer clients who are being treated for Sex Addiction in my Infidelity Recovery Program to these groups because they are loose and people can fit in as they please. Check out their site http://www.slaafws.org

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous is a place MEN to talk about high risk sexual encounters such as engaging in unprotected anal and oral sex despite the probability of contracting HIV. It also is a place to talk about arrangements typically found in bath houses, sex clubs, rest stops, bus stations, public urinals, and even Craigslist. And in opposition to no longer engaging in these behaviors they just change them usually into something as simple as masturbating in front of a computer.

So which sex addiction group is right for you? No one can know but you. If none of these work for you, you could try out AA or NA which usually can work for a whole slew of addicted behaviors.


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