Today in our group, a new member was concerned on why they were becoming sexually inappropriate, after their WIFE CHEATED.
I am posting some of my answer here to help many of you who ask the same question, and feel guilty and ashamed for mirroring similar behavior as your unfaithful partner.
“………..My view on your situation – first, I don’t know your history, however, your wife cheated on you and now and forever more, YOU are MORE likely to be open to cheating on a future partner, UNLESS you recognize your behavioral changes – in which you have (PHEW!).
How can this be (I know many betrayed spouses will be upset to read this), but think about cases such as the school bullie, who is/was beaten and abused at home, or the rapist who was sexually abused by a relative in their childhood. Once you are conditioned or predisposed to a behavior or situation, you can become the “wrong doer.” The simple reason – its protection.
Also, groups(online & offline) by nature bring together a group of people who are going through a similar situation, and through sharing of personal experiences, you can form relationships + you become vulnerable. People are sharing deep and very personal information (and in our group, it’s around infidelity/cheating/sex) – topics that are intense.
For people who have not processed mistakes from the old relationship, and learned new skills for new relationships (such as boundary setting), new “relationships” are formed with the same issues as the old relationship……..”
Have you experienced this situation in group – either you or by someone else? Let me know your opinion below.
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