Not everyone can move swiftly from one stage to another. Many emotional issues arise during the recovery process, and each partner needs to move along at his/her own pace.
- Traumatic Stage
In this stage, there will probably be feelings of rage, fear, sadness, inadequacy, guilt, and deep hurt. The injured spouse may ask, “How could you do this to me?”A sense of urgency may push you to get things resolved as soon as possible so that things can return to the way they were when you felt connected to your partner.
- Understanding Stage
Recovery from the trauma starts with a logical understanding of why things happened, so you both can feel that you have a sense of control again.
- Repair Stage
This is the stage where partners gain an emotional understanding of what needs to be done on both sides of the relationship; they begin to feel hopeful.
- Healing Stage
This is the stage where logical healing and emotional healing come together.
- Integration Stage
At this stage, couples have developed a new type of relationship, one with connection and caring. Reaching this stage is not easy, but working towards it is worth the effort.