If you have experienced the trauma of infidelity, don’t feel alone. Statistics show over 70-80% of married couples struggle with this issue sometime during the course of their marriage.
Because of the shame and guilt associated with this issue it is hard to get support, advice, and help from your friends and relatives. And yet without help, your odds are decreased of getting through the maze of recovery in the most expedient and constructive way. Sometimes, especially with this issue, help may need to come in the form of a professional specifically trained to help couples meet the challenges after infidelity and affairs.
Whether you call it cheating, having an affair, adultery, infidelity, or breaking your monogamy vows, it profoundly hurts people in committed relationships. It is the single most hurtful and destructive thing that can occur in a marriage where monogamy is the stated goal. Because it is so devastating, it is quite often not handled very constructively in relationships.
Infidelity does not have to mean an end to the relationship. In some cases, however, people may make that choice because they don’t know what the options are. And in some cases, the best option may be to end the relationship [e.g., where there are multiple affairs, no genuine remorse or plans for recovery] But for an overwhelming majority of cases of infidelity, not only can the relationship be saved but it can evolve into a stronger and more resilient and even more intimate relationship than before. However, this often requires some skillful facilitation from a therapist specifically trained in dealing with issues after infidelity occurs.
Savannah Ellis specializes in Infidelity & Affair coaching including many aspects such as:
• Suspecting your partner of having an affair
• How to notice signs of an affair and prevent infidelity.
• The effects of infidelity after it occurs
• Effects of divorce
• Online Infidelity
• Communication issues
• Trust issues
• How to talk to your partner about your concerns
• Planning for your single future
• Dealing with family & friends
Here’s what coaching can do for you:
1. Break free from the affair much quicker. Unfortunately, when left to your own devices, you keep going over the same stuff time and time again. You swirl. Ever notice that? Same ole, same ole. You keep doing that which doesn’t work.
2. Become smarter. Coaching gives you different ways of thinking about the affair and different strategies to use. You do not keep going over the same territory. There is movement.
3. You will like yourself better. You will be affirmed. Step number one for me is to let you know, through this time when you can doubt yourself, that you really are ok. This feels good!
4. You will have something to look forward to. Coaching becomes an oasis in which you are really heard, can talk about your vital concerns and begin to purposefully design your life and relationships.
5. You will be more confident and bold. You know that you have a fierce ally who will back you and be there for you.
6. You will rehearse exactly what you need to say and do. You will put into words exactly what you want to say. You will be prepared for you encounters with the significant other.
7. You will keep moving ahead. You won’t backslide. Do you ever notice how easy it is to go back to what was familiar, even if you know it’s not good for you? You don’t have to do that.